I want to apologize but I cannot stop the tears from rolling down my already drenched cheeks. I have been dealing with so much ^#*! from this weekend and now I am going to throw it on to you...
I am depressed, it's a clinical diagnosis (deal with it) and I honestly don't appreciate and can't handle certain events that occurred this weekend. I will not talk directly about that for the safety of those involved but please just know everyone is physically fine. I'm just so emotionally done I think the Pope would acknowledge God has given up on me... I feel like a total waste of breath and I hate having to acknowledge it but my one boyfriend was right, there are some questions that can't be answered by the human condition. I will never be able to answer why I feel the way I do, why I give a horse's *#! about people, and no one else will either (at least not completely). I am letting others pull the puppet strings on my life and it feels like a noose everytime they pull me in a direction. I need to be me but I don't even know who the ^!*÷ she is. I need to forget about the whys and how's of phylisophical bull/÷*! and deal with myself. I am so emotionally and mentally drained and all I want to do is give up and back away from life and this situation....but I can't. Supposedly there are people that love me dearly and truly care for me and it's killing me that I just need to accept that they do and not question their motives....trust issues aren't fun people....turmoil will ensue and that's when I take some melatonin and talk more about this ^!*$ called my life tomorrow. If you can, enjoy ♡
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